But Strive First.
But strive first, the kingdom of heaven, and all of these things shall be added unto you as well.
I've been thinking about worry. Actually, I've been worried about my worry. Ironic, huh? It seems that Jesus addresses worry in Matthew 6 (Sermon on the Mount) with a replacement philosophy. He doesn't just say "don't worry!" He says, strive first the kingdom of heaven and you won't need to worry.
I've been thinking about this in the context of my job (which I hate). I've been looking for a new job for over a month and a half. I've been praying that my job would improve since I was employed six months ago. I'm worried. Worried that I will never get a better job. Worried that I will always be at Fuller, always be hating my job (and thus 8 hours of my life), worried that God's not going to come through for me. I'm honestly worried that Jesus won't really take care of me. Or that being a disciple here, away from my home, always means the most amount of suffering, and the most amount of burnout. I think in my heart of hearts I'm really afraid that Jesus will remove from me what I love the most and leave me with nothing except a spiritual novum called "eternal life" or "heaven" for which I will have no earthly reference frame.
Yet, Luke put Jesus' words like this "Don't worry little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." I don't really know how to wrestle with that-- it's pretty clear that God will grant us the kingdom now, here, currently. And perhaps he already has. If I think about the fact that I have complete medical insurance, have enough spare cash to plan a trip to China, enough money to pay my bills--this is hardly suffering. Not only that but God promises to be with me, even in the job that I hate, even if I can't pay my bills. God is good--that's very true, it's just that sometimes I am too myopic to see his grace.
posted by erin elizabeth @ 8:07 AM
3 Comments:
That's one reason I'd love to get out of this country for a while - context. It would be eye-opening, I'm certain, to see what suffering is like elsewhere in the world.
you don't have to go out of the country to see real suffering. It's here too. Also, careful of "poverty tourism" if you want to go see new places and contexts, and meet God away from your current context, fine, but traveling to see suffering is nothing more than a human zoo. Thus, I hate National Geographic and other forms of cultural tourism that transforms real peoples lives into images to be digested by the West.
If you are at all open to other religious views, your understanding of christianity and Jesus' message could really be enhanced and clarified by reading some buddhist philosophy. They are really very close. REad anything by the Dalai Lama or Thich Nhat Hanh, especially his book about the similarities between Jesus and Buddha. For me, becoming a Buddhist in addition to a Christian (they are not mutually exclusive) has strenghtened my Christian beliefs and made me less confused about what they mean and how they apply to my life. You are on the right path. You don't need to know where it leads, you just need to keep taking one step at a time. Blessings, Amy
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