Community

Being in community is, in one sense, all about giving up your personal rights. Your right to feel validated, defended, and justified. The truth is community is all about refinement--we are mirrors to each other, revealing the ways we are too touchy, too angry, too defensive, too (enter your struggle here). And when we are well defended with walls and fences, we cannot receive the refinement we so desperately need. But the problem is when we are trying to develop skin that is appropriately thick. How much do I have a right to be right? How much do I have a right to be heard, loved and accepted? I was recently inspired by the "personal bill of rights". I'm still processing what it means to have these rights, but give up others; maintain boundaries, but still live in community.

Personal Bill of Rights

1. I have the right to ask for what I want

2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet.

3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

4. I have the right to change my mind.

5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or it violates my values.

8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.

9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems

10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.

11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.

13. I have the right to feel scared and say "I'm afraid."

14. I have the right to say 'I don't know.

15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.

16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

20. I have the right to be in a nonabusive environment.

21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

22. I have the right to change and grow.

23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others

24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect

25. I have the right to be happy.