thinking about community part 2

Apologizes to those of you that read this post and were confused, hurt, or upset by it. Community is one thing that I have been thinking a lot about. I do believe God is teaching me much about community, how to do it, and how to do it well. Much of my life, I have struggled with a sense of isolation, not really fitting into any mold. I have expected that my community and Servant Parnters to fill this void, be able to understand and identify with me and be able to love me well. I have been wrong in this expectation. Not because the community does not love me, meet some of my needs, or understand and identify with me, but because without presentation of my needs to my community, and without caring for them in return; there can be no real exchange of compassion and love. This is something I am learning how to do. It is difficult, painful, and stretching. It is in effect, learning how to care for myself. When I can care for myself, by presenting my needs to a loving community, my needs will be addressed. In my last post (now deleted), I wrote that I did not want to be part of a community that neither knows nor is equipped to deal with these issues (isolation, loss of identity, etc). This still stands: I do not want to be part of that community; but I do not think (now or then) that our class is that community that neither knows nor cares, and I have been wrestling with how to make my needs known to the community so that people are equipped to deal with my issues.

Specifically, this last weekend was difficult for me; not because the event was not well planned nor well thought out, but because there was some particularly isolating, painful, and lonely experiences that took place during that weekend. This is partially due to some real conflicts (which have been brought up as needed), and partially due to God really wanting to work and heal me in these areas of my life. I am hopeful of this healing. I am hopeful that there will be more healing for me and for my community as we press in together. And I am hopeful that we will see God at work.