yum

Summer recipies are fun.
Last night I made this wonderful cold barley salad. Hope that you enjoy and try it out!

2c. pearl barley (you could potentially use any type of wheat berries or even brown rice)

1/2-1/4 of an onion, chopped

1 1/2 bell peppers

1 zucchini

1/3 c. lemon juice

1/3 c. good quality olive oil
2 Tsp. Pasta Seasonings (or mix of whatever spices you'd like)
Salt and Pepper to taste

Boil the barley about 20-30 minutes, until soft. Here's the trick, add the veggies to the collander before pouring the hot barley in. The boiling water softens the veggies just enough so that they are "flash cooked". Strain excess water. Transfer to a bowl and allow to cool for a while while you make the dressing, mix the lemon juice, olive oil, seasonings with a whisk. Pour over your veggies and barley and Voila! A tasty summer salad. Serve warm or cold.

So yeah.

Transition is good. But also hard. Today I found out that my boss is leaving. My boss who I have cried with, laughed with, and alltogether have shared real fellowship with. He is leaving. Gone.

When he told us, as a group, my coworkers collectivly shouted "you suck!" Diamante said, "now I know how our client's feel when we leave." It's true. I felt the tightening of the stomache. The feelingangryandbloodrushingaroundinthehead. The ohmygosh. I felt the ican'tbelieveyoudidn'ttellmeandithoughtwehadsomething. I wanted to tell myself, this is not a personal relationship, this is your boss! He doesn't have ties to you. But I still feel that sadness. He is a great friend of mine. One whom I felt an immediate connection with. I know that I am moving on too, I just didn't think that things would change.

It's funny how we set these rules on things. Things can change and leave, but I'd better do it first. I'd better pull out first. I'd better be safe first. I'd better get mines and get out before you can do the same. Eric, you can leave, but not before me. I need some amount of safety, some amount of security. I know it's not in you, but sometimes it sure feels like it is. It's funny how we personify happiness and safety. It's funny how we trust in chariots and horses. Some trust in the name of the Lord. I want to trust in the name of the Lord. Not in my boss. Not in my job. Not in outside circumstances. It seems easy enough.

Pedro the Lion has this song, that really speaks to my lament. We believe. We cling to the promises. But man I friggin struggle. Jesus loves me anyway.

Having Fun

Just recently, I've started having fun. We're talking real fun, where I feel like I can let go of every stress, worry, anxiety, emotion, and just enjoy. I don't have to get hysterically laughing, and I don't have to have some kind of thrill seeking, but I am enjoying some plain old fashioned fun. Maybe it's because I've reached this point in my healing where I can really celebrate. Maybe it's moving into a new house. Maybe it's the end of servant partners internship. Whatever the underlying factors, I'm having a blast--here's a sampling of what I've been up to:
I spent the morning on the beach with myself, reading a book, went on a run, packed a picnic, played with the kid at the next umbrella. I took myself out for frozen yogurt.
I spent an evening (well, let me buzz in: many evenings!) playing "Rock Band" with Ben, Rex, and Kevin. It was hilarious.
I hiked up a trail on the fourth of July with Ben, Rex and David. It over looked the entire city, we could see a million different fire works shows.
I attended a BBQ for some of the people in the neighborhood. It was so cool to hang out and meet new people, and be able to be myself!
I've been reading a ridiculous amount of books, I've read 2 1/2 in the last week.
Anyway, that gives you an idea. Nothing real fancy, but I have just been really enjoying myself. I think I've finally learned how to celebrate. Praise God.